Yep...

Feeling...

disjointed
disjunct
disoriented
candlesnuffed...

probably all without reason
but still...

I am hardly in the mood for proper punctuation...

Today it rained

and today I worked
and today I worried

Do I ask too many questions?
Do I ask too much of you?
Are you truly happy?

Or do you simply feign happiness,
as I have,
far too many times?

And every time you drift away
I panic,
although I'm guilty of
the exact same tendency.

Will you stick around
every time my feathers are ruffled,
every time I'm startled and flit off,
will you wait for me to come back,
and alight near you?

You promise its true
every time you softly pour out
those three words

but I've been promised before
and left with broken wings
and broken hopes.

You're different
I know you're different

I can feel it
and I wish and hope and pray
that I'm right.

Ugh...

Ugh...I'm in a weird mood lately. I just feel, well...trapped. I can't break free because I can't put my finger on just what or who or where is trapping me, but trapped I am. I feel as though some part of my freedom has been compromised, and I can't get it back, because, well, I guess I don't even know why...I'm restless, I'm bored, I'm severely short on any kind of motivation, I'm lacking stimulation that comes from only a certain kind of person or thing. I can't paint, I can't write, I can't even emote it would seem. I'm in a complete creative funk, and I despise it.

...but we all float on...

Cheers to you all, may your days be sunny :)

I dug this out today...

The polish slowly cracks

on your perfectly varnished realities

spidering out of control

until it all peels off and falls to the floor

and you're left exposed

full of potential

but skittish of everything

Doesn't it feel a funny kind of wonderful?

Cheers! :)

Hello, old friend....

So, it most certainly has been a while...so much has happened.

I've gone through lovers, losses, illness...but today is a new day.

I just got a new job, $10/hr and a generous part-time schedule.

The sun is shining, Sasha is purring on the windowsill, and Blake and I shall rendezvous for coffee el fresco shortly.

Life is good... :)

Monday Monday...

It's Monday...and I'm in my underpants after waking up at 4:00 pm...life is good.

Sasha is being a complete and total spaz today, which is frighteningly unusual considering she's usual a silent piece of furniture. She's currently lovin' up on the toaster, I don't pretend to understand...I mean, I love the toaster too, but we keep our acts of affection on the down-low...

The new beau should be here shortly, a random wander downtown for some dinner and a bit of fresh air (now that it has finally decided to be above 30 degrees) are on tap, we'll then probably wander back home and snuggle up with some boob tube...

I should be off to find pants.

Cheers! :)

An update of sorts...

Oh, its been a while...entirely too long...

So much has happened, but I hardly feel like writing about it all now...

It's been a time of transition, and of the rebirth spring always brings.

So for now, I bathe myself in candlelight, watch the sun set behind the skyline, and wait for a boy with emerald eyes to come for a cup of tea...

Cheers to you all... :)