Yep...

Feeling...

disjointed
disjunct
disoriented
candlesnuffed...

probably all without reason
but still...

I am hardly in the mood for proper punctuation...

Today it rained

and today I worked
and today I worried

Do I ask too many questions?
Do I ask too much of you?
Are you truly happy?

Or do you simply feign happiness,
as I have,
far too many times?

And every time you drift away
I panic,
although I'm guilty of
the exact same tendency.

Will you stick around
every time my feathers are ruffled,
every time I'm startled and flit off,
will you wait for me to come back,
and alight near you?

You promise its true
every time you softly pour out
those three words

but I've been promised before
and left with broken wings
and broken hopes.

You're different
I know you're different

I can feel it
and I wish and hope and pray
that I'm right.

Ugh...

Ugh...I'm in a weird mood lately. I just feel, well...trapped. I can't break free because I can't put my finger on just what or who or where is trapping me, but trapped I am. I feel as though some part of my freedom has been compromised, and I can't get it back, because, well, I guess I don't even know why...I'm restless, I'm bored, I'm severely short on any kind of motivation, I'm lacking stimulation that comes from only a certain kind of person or thing. I can't paint, I can't write, I can't even emote it would seem. I'm in a complete creative funk, and I despise it.

...but we all float on...

Cheers to you all, may your days be sunny :)

I dug this out today...

The polish slowly cracks

on your perfectly varnished realities

spidering out of control

until it all peels off and falls to the floor

and you're left exposed

full of potential

but skittish of everything

Doesn't it feel a funny kind of wonderful?

Cheers! :)

Hello, old friend....

So, it most certainly has been a while...so much has happened.

I've gone through lovers, losses, illness...but today is a new day.

I just got a new job, $10/hr and a generous part-time schedule.

The sun is shining, Sasha is purring on the windowsill, and Blake and I shall rendezvous for coffee el fresco shortly.

Life is good... :)

Monday Monday...

It's Monday...and I'm in my underpants after waking up at 4:00 pm...life is good.

Sasha is being a complete and total spaz today, which is frighteningly unusual considering she's usual a silent piece of furniture. She's currently lovin' up on the toaster, I don't pretend to understand...I mean, I love the toaster too, but we keep our acts of affection on the down-low...

The new beau should be here shortly, a random wander downtown for some dinner and a bit of fresh air (now that it has finally decided to be above 30 degrees) are on tap, we'll then probably wander back home and snuggle up with some boob tube...

I should be off to find pants.

Cheers! :)

An update of sorts...

Oh, its been a while...entirely too long...

So much has happened, but I hardly feel like writing about it all now...

It's been a time of transition, and of the rebirth spring always brings.

So for now, I bathe myself in candlelight, watch the sun set behind the skyline, and wait for a boy with emerald eyes to come for a cup of tea...

Cheers to you all... :)

Yay, sleeping in! Boo, Saturday boredom!

There are 101 things I should be doing today...laundry, dishes, studying, cleaning the litter box, writing papers, dusting, sweeping, mopping, grocery shopping, organizing, sending thank yous, attending a baby shower, exercising...the list goes on. Instead, I have decided to curl up with a snuggly blanket, one of my favorite old Jack Kerouac books, and a hot cup of Earl Gray...take that society. I'll do shit later...maybe...if I feel like it...

Cheers! :)

Why can't we just use carrier pigeons?

It is currently 46 degrees...ABOVE, I am so excited, I think I may piss my pants!

So, warmer temperatures, not looking like I am a member of the Inuit while heading to work, a stunning cup of oolong tea, and Sasha-kitty snuggles, so far, so good.

Now...for the cynical ranting that you all know and love:

The U.S. Postal Service....rawr!
My ghetto apartment building....double rawr!

I go skipping merrily down the steps today, my pretty little letters in hand, only to discover there is no place in which to deposit outgoing mail to be found! I looked, good and hard, passersby probably began to wonder if I was canvassing the mailboxes or some such thing; but to no avail. So, I came back upstairs and called our landlord, and he told me that I could simply tape the mail to the wall and the postman would pick it up. Now, if this was a schmaltzy letter to my grandmother, sure...but it was not, it was a $500 rent check. I'm wary about placing those checks in the mail, much less taping them to the wall in my less-than-secure apartment building. So after playing phone tag with three different Post Offices, they informed me that I could wander aimlessly until I manage to find a dropbox...woo, I'll wait until tomorrow, its only rent.

Back to my Developmental Psych. paper on Homosexual parenting...

Cheers! :)

Boo and a subsequent hiss...

Blech...being sick is no fun! :( Being sick + sleeping two hours a night because a)you're a natural insomniac, b)even if you could sleep, you can't do so much as even attempt it until you get home from class at 11:00 on a good night and c)you have to be up for work at the ass crack of dawn = A cranky, icky, and all around zombie-like Christy. Wow...was that sentence something akin to math?! See? Told you...I'm exhausted...and sick...I'm using math, I'd have to be sick for something of that nature to occur.

Anywho, it is cold...not "Brrr...wear a hat, its chilly" cold, no, no this here is a "SWEET JESUS ON A POGOSTICK MY EYES ARE FROZEN OPEN AND I CANNOT BREATHE BECAUSE MY LUNGS MAY HAVE BEGUN SOLIDIFY!!" kind of cold. I woke up for work this morning and it was -20 below zero...I was not amused. The ol' parka and I are frequent companions, as well as the thermal mittens, scarf, and woolen hat with fleece lining (oh, and tassels, just for fun). It's supposed to be below zero again tonight, I do not look forward to standing outside and waiting twenty minutes for the bus. Oh well, que sera sera...

I must be off...I have much to clean, as my apartment currently looks as though it may have been hit by a tornado, or possibly bombed...

Stay Warm! :)

Craziness!!...

Oh, blog...you have not gone unforgotten...I promise!

Life has been but a blur since around Christmastime-ish. I'm all moved into my new apartment in Downtown Minneapolis, the Sasha kitty and I have done our best to make it "homey". I'm finally closer to Ryan, *double Squee!* have procured a job Barista-ing down on Nicollet Mall, and started school at Argosy the second week of January! I love the change so far, though I miss the North Shore, the move has done me good! I'm back on a regular schedule of work, class, work, class...its the lovely exhaustion I enjoy and require...

Now, for funness!

Ryan and I at Christmas...awww... :)


My pooftastic kitty cat, Sasha...



I must be off, hope you all are well!

Cheers! :)