Inventory

So...summer...and some sense of stability...I have a routine, the structure and schedule that I loathe, yet crave... I've stopped drifting from one to another in reckless abandonment, stealing small pieces of each in some hopes of fashioning some semblance of a whole, I've found someone that can fill that ever-present vacancy, someone who loves unconditionally, I've tried to shake off last year, the sickness, the pain, the choices, the people from it whom I'd like to forget. I work full days, each moment structured, I see Ryan, I spend time with the family, I write and paint when I get the chance...its a lovely exhaustion. The friendships that really matter are strengthened by the distance, each handwritten letter or thoughtfully typed e-mail a precious treasure. I plot and plan for the future this fall, for school, for new possibilities, for second chances. I hope...I dream...I love...